L for LOVE

Let me quote some lines of the essay Sapay Koma, written by Prof. Jhoanna Lynn B. Cruz, Humanities professor of UP Mindanao (who is now my current instructor for AH4 / HUM1: Adventures in Poetry, Fiction and Drama) The essay won the Third Prize in the Essay Category of the prestigious Don Carlos Palanca Memorial Awards in 2008. The full essay can be read in this link.

...Despite all the tragic relationships I had had with women, I still believed that it was worth fighting for the right of a woman to love another woman. What business did I have getting married to a very young man? And for all the wrong reasons. Must have been oxytocin overdose sponsored by the baby in my womb. Or a planetary alignment exerting mysterious forces on my consciousness. Or, gasp—Love!...

 ...We didn’t get any gifts, except for a framed copy of 1 Corinthians 13: “Love is patient, love is kind… love does not keep a record of wrongs…”

... I once tried to convince my husband to just rent a gown and tuxedo and then have our “wedding” photo taken so we’d finally get on “The Wedding Wall.” But he has always been the more sensible half of our couple...

...One day, though, a new picture was added to the wall. It was a studio photo of his eldest sister, her American husband, and their baby boy. It wasn’t “The Wedding Wall” anymore; it was now the “Our Children and their Acceptable Spouses” wall. It was their version of the Saussurean signifier. The message was loud and clear – to me and to other people who came to visit...

...I wonder now why it so mattered to me to be on that wall. I guess I felt that after all those years, we had been punished enough for defying the culture. Maybe I actually believed in 1 Corinthians 13. Or perhaps I also needed to be reassured that I was indeed happily married.

This essay reminded me of the story by Manuel Arguilla (How My Brother Leon Brought Home A Wife), in which Prof. Cruz also quoted in the essay (in which we discussed for a whole week). Love in marriage is not an easy thing. It's a matter of how you submit to your partner and to your partner's authorities. However, for the radical Christian such as myself, 1 Corinthians 13 is a manifestation of God's unfailing love - which endures forever. I could attest to myself that quoting the passage isn't bad at all - but taking it by heart requires a pure heart.

Bad relationships are results of unproductive marriages. Bad relationships come from wrong decisions. Love isn't wrong, but to follow how you make love, through God's model, is difficult. However, if you just let God move in your search for your lifetime partner, you will achieve the peace and the joy we deserve, together with your children.


So, let me ask you. Who do you want, a spouse or a lifetime partner?



KENNETH


P.S. My deepest appreciations to Ma'am Jhoanna for her continuing teachings to us. Kudos!