Akalain Mo Naman: A 2013 Year Ender - Part 1
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| Akalain mong nakasuot ako ng Sablay noong 2013! |
Para sa
akin, ang 2013 ay naging napaka-inspiring na taon sa buong buhay ko. Naging
taon rin ito ng napakalaking pagbabago sa buhay , di lamang para sa akin, pati
na rin sa pamilya’t kaibigan ko.
Naging
blessed na blessed ako sa taong ito, kahit pa ang daming pagsubok na
pinagdaanan. Kaya nga, pinasasalamatan ko talaga ang Panginoong Hesus na naging
tunay na Kaibigan para sa akin.
Akalain mo
nga naman…
Akalain
mong naka-graduate ako sa UP, naging Best SP Finalist, nakatrabaho agad,
nakabalik sa ministry, at naka-bless ng family... What a year full of
blessings!
Buti Nga’t Naka-Graduate!
Nung
papasok pa lang ang 2013, my hopes to graduate seemed to be fading away. Remember
that I was studying at the country’s premier University, the University of the Philippines.
Noong 2012, kahit nakapag-submit naman ako ng proposal para sa Special Problem
(SP, thesis equivalent), hindi ko naman nai-implement ang project ko kahit
isang module. (Sa di nakakaalam, ang aking SP project ay isang online
information system ng Himati, ang official student publication ng UP Mindanao).
Nagka-INC (incomplete) ako sa isang major subject dahil feeling ko di ako
makaka-focus sa mga ganyan dahil lang sa SP ko. At sa pagiging distracted sa
mga di importanteng gamit, nasira pa yung laptop ko beyond repair.
Naging
dagok para sa akin ang 2nd Semester 2012-2013 dahil ito yung huling
semester na covered ng Maximum Residency Rule (MRR) ng UP. In UP, the MRR
states that if you reach 1.5 times the normal number of semesters needed to
complete your degree program (4 years in my case), you will be considered
"Dismissed." Kailangan mo pang
mag-appeal sa Chancellor before you will be able to continue pursuing your UP
education. Nakabagsak ako ng 2 subjects since I entered in 2007, so I was
delayed by at least 2 semesters.
That’s why I
felt depressed, sobrang depressed. Parang feel ko hindi na matatapos ang lahat.
I thought I will not continue with this journey because the expectations that I
made when I entered UP cannot be reached. My emotions became unstable, to the
point that I was already frequently having thoughts to end my life. I even
posted on my Facebook profile about being a failure to everyone.
At dahil doon,
my family thought of letting me stay sa boarding house ng pinsan ko para maibsan
ang mga nararamdaman ko. There I tried to refresh myself of all worries, but to
no avail. I even had a confrontation with my cousin.
Isang gabi,
I had a very bad dream. I was in a very dark place, nothing in between.
Then someone or something was making strange sounds and was coming near me. The
thing was keeping on reminding me about my past failures, in school, in the
family and in ministry. At sa sobrang takot ko, tumakbo ako nang palayo. That
scene looked like it came out of the Temple
Run game app. I ran and ran and ran, until I slowed down. Soon the monster
caught me by the hand and threw me to a ditch.
Then I woke up... screaming and in tears. I was deeply
traumatized that I told my cousin that I wanted to go home and take rest.
Back in UPMin, I then remembered to approach our Office
of Student Affairs and make an appointment to our Counseling Officer, who
happened to be a Christian. She happened to be leading a campus-based ministry
along with her husband. In addition, I happened to attend their ministry events
when I stayed in the Elias B. Lopez Hall Dormitory.
I told her my frustrations about my SP. I also told her
how depressed I was about my life. I also brought up my past experience in a
church ministry that I left because of a bad experience with leadership. After
that, she challenged me to move forward, and to tell my SP adviser on how I can
be guided with my project. (My SP adviser happened to be a batch mate – we
entered UP in the same year, but he graduated on time.) I referred her to my
mother so she will be able to know what is happening to me.
What surprised me, though, was she ended our session with
a prayer. I joined her in asking God for wisdom for me to overcome the
challenges I faced at that time.
Going home, I felt a nudge in my spirit to reach for my
Bible that I was keeping in my bag. I thought it was crazy but I felt it was
something I should do.
When I opened the Bible the next day, it led me to
Jeremiah 29:10-14 (New King James Version):
“For thus says the
LORD: after seventy years are completed in Babylon, I will visit you and
perform My good word toward you, and cause you to return to this place.
For I know the
thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of
evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to
Me, and I will listen to you.
And you will seek
Me and find Me, when you search for Me will all your heart.
I will be found by
you says the LORD, and I will bring you back from your captivity; I will gather
you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you, says
the LORD, and I will bring you to the place which I cause you to be carried
away captive.”
I led me to tears, thinking, “ano ba yung ginawa ko all
this time?” I know I have failed the LORD, pero alam kong may pangako Siya para
sa aking buhay. Alam na alam ko na hindi Niya ako pababayaan sa pagsubok na
ito. After all this time of suffering I had in UP, the LORD is telling me that
He is to perform His act of grace towards me, that will cause me to return to
where I should be.
So I prayed,
“LORD, hindi ko
kaya ang lahat ng ito. Iaalay ko na lang Po sa Iyo ang aking Special Problem. I
believe that You do better things than I am, so I ask Your Holy Spirit to guide
me through this. Whatever Your will is, let Your will be done. In Jesus’ name I
pray, Amen.”
At that moment, I felt so relieved, believing in the
promise that God will help me do all things through Him who strengthens me.
With that promise, I put a sticky note on the wall of my bedroom:
“APRIL 19, 2013 –
GRADUATION DAY”
April 19th was the schedule day of the Commencement
Exercises in UPMin, so I held on to the promise each day.
Since that day, me and my mother were consulting with her
and my SP adviser. My SP adviser told me that I can finish my SP because he
believed in my abilities as a web programmer. Our counselor even told my mother
that I had the potential to finish all of this.
All these promises I held on to as the days passed by. I
was able to borrow the laptop of my cousin to be able to finish my project. I
was also able to work on our family’s desktop. Pero yung naging kataka-taka
para sa akin ay yung natapos ko yung buong system and yung SP manuscript in
just less than a month! Just imagine: it was a web-based system with complex
connections to external websites, together with a 150-page manuscript with a
lot of paragraphs, illustrations, citations and lines of code. I couldn’t thank
better than to my SP adviser and panel who were really good and patient to me. In
March 12th, I was able to defend my SP infront of them and my family. They were
so happy that I was able to finish everything.
When I was turning over my SP draft to the appropriate
channels for checking, I was amazed that from the Department Chair, to RDE Chair,
to College Secretary, to Dean, my SP was only marked for very few revisions and
was signed right then and there. Our Department Chair even told me that my SP
manuscript was the most beautifully-written among all the manuscripts he
already checked so far. What a relief! In a few days, I completely submitted my
hard-bound SP.
But that didn’t end there.
And on the day of my graduation, on April 19, 2013, I was
finally able to wear the Sablay,
walking in pride, relief and victory that I was able to finish my studies in
the country’s premier state univesity. Napaiyak nga ang Mama ko dahil sa
sobrang saya.
I thank the LORD for that promise. I am overwhelemed.
Akalaim mo nga naman.
(Check out Part 2 very soon.)
KENNETH
